Thursday, March 03, 2005

A Runaway Thought Train
By Ben Valentine

Today, I've got a lot on my mind.

Like most days, that means it's filled with a bunch of runaway thoughts, each more unfocused than the last. And so rather than actually take the effort to focus them, I'm just going to blog em all down. So ladies,gentlemen and Lance, without further adieu, I present Valentine's Musings: Episode I.

First off, my response to the prior post. Everyone's got vices nowadays. There's no way around it. Some people feast on food, others on terrible television. Others enjoy the sauce. Since in the words of my gastroentorolgist, alcohol no longer exists any more, I needed a new addiction.

So that's where EA Sports comes in.

I could wax poetically about why I can't stop playing Madden and NCAA, but that would be another column entirely. Maybe it'll get one eventually. But not today. Today I'm just going to say that the entire reason I have the PStwo is because of the reason I can't drink alcohol.

Thanks to a nasty disease called pancreatitis, also known as an inflammation of my pancreas, I can't drink anymore. That combined with the secondary diagnosis of Crohn's Disease, which sucks even more, left my parents feeling sorry enough for me that they'd shell out for the system they told me two years before I would never get from them. And hey, with the hard earned money I've gotten this semester from working (okay it's easy work but hey it's work) I decided to spend some cash on my electronic narcotic.
You've got to try it. It's better than liquid cocaine.

Disturbed yet? If you're not, good. If you're not and you're a cute single female sports fan, post your contact info. I'll respond once I finish up with the 2006 recruiting class.

Okay, for the five of you remaining we drift to football, where free agency has begun. Is it just me, or do a lot of big names seem to be changing teams this year? Randy Moss gets dealt. Ty Law fought the cap and the cap won. It also beat Derrick Mason and Samari Rolle. Hey, if you're in need of two corners, why not sign Samari and draft Antrel Rolle, his brother and a sure first round pick in next month's draft. Or is he Samari's cousin... did I even spell Samari right?

So the Jets lost Jason Ferguson and LaMont Jordan. I liked Ferguson and hate to see him go, but Dallas overpaid for him. LaMont can go and put the ball on the ground in Oakland. Derrick Blaylock, who the Jets signed to replace him, is a better deal. Speaking of better deals, Laverneous Coles thought he got one from the Redskins two years ago. Turned out he was wrong. Why are the Jets interested in a guy who despite having 90+ catches this year managed a medicore 950 yards and ONE TD? And for Santana Moss no less, who despite being a "dissapointment" put up 850 yards and five TDs? Coles isn't the same player since his foot injury of last year. Memo to the Jets: Keep Moss and sign Plaxico Burress. He'll cost you what Coles will and is a step forward rather than one laterally.

Is Jose Reyes hurt yet? He's become a running, no scratch that, limping joke with my friends. I keep telling him he's just 21. Younger than me; I just turned 22. Come on give him a chance. Of course, I'm just waiting for the injury to happen. Something always happens to my favorite players when they play for my teams... Alexei Kovalev, Darryl Strawberry, Keith Van Horn, Richard Jefferson, Edgardo Alfonzo, Drazen Petrovic.... oh yeah and Santana Moss.
Me wanting the Jets to keep Santana has nothing to do with me not wanting to have to buy a new Jets jersey.

Speaking of the Nets, they aren't very good. But the Vince Carter trade has hardened my belief that Rod Thorn is the one G.M. I can't question. Just think about it for a moment. Look at his moves. Drafted K-Mart. Traded Starbury for Kidd. Then the best deal of them all, trading Eddie Griffin for RJ, Jason Collins and Brandon Armstrong. I still remember David Aldridge ripping that move. How about drafting Nenad Krstic and letting him develop in Europe? And now the Vinsanity, who has led the league in points per game since coming to the Nets. Forget Kidd, I'll always feel like the Nets can win as long as Rod is in charge.

Which reminds me, where is David Aldridge now? Wherever he got sent, I think Mike Kahn joined him earlier this year. The two should throw a party just to show they're actually alive. They can invite Steven A. Smith there. Marc Stein can bring the punch. And Tony Mejia will be the guest of honor. As his reward, he can stay there forever, along with Smith and Stein.

Going the opposite way now, the Ian Eagle should still be the Nets main broadcaster, not Marv Albert. Come on, Marv is Marv, but he's a Knick. Who's going to watch Nets games to listen to Marv? Will it help attendance? And Ian is a great broadcaster. There really is no loyalty in sports.

Hey in next year's Madden game, maybe you could hire and fire your broadcasters too. Like the radio guys or something. You don't hear the guys you just get stats for what they bring to the game. Your radio team could boost or lower fan rate or some incalculatable thing like that. Hey, then you could hire ex players as color guys... wow too much on my mind.

Kate Higier is my favorite women's basketball player. Why? The Miami native hit ten three pointers in a NYU women's basketball game Wednesday. She owned the court and prompted me and the illustrious Aaron Goldhammer of Veni Vidi Vixi started a "Katie Higier" chant. NYU blew out Drew University. Fun times were had by all.

Okay so Rachel Wojdowski is actually my favorite player because she was nice enough to give me an interview for a class. Plus she was very cordial during and fun to talk to. Oh yeah she's the best player in Division III women's college basketball.

That's right, women's basketball owns NYU. Unless it's in the virtual world on NCAA Football 2005. Then Heisman winner Lance Medow is king.
A Sportszilla First: A woman's basketball player featured. Congrats to our version of Jackie Robinson, Katie Higier.

The New York Rangers were eliminated from the 2005 NHL playoffs two weeks ago. It was two weeks later than normal, so I guess it was a successful season. At least more successful than the embarrassment that is the Knicks, a team's who's lead is never safe, no matter how much time is left in a game.

Oh yeah, I feel as though I need to rip a legend in these parts, AKA the Sports Guy. Sure, I'm probably ripping off his style as a write this, but his columns have been lacking lately. His Patriots and Red Sox things have gotten annoying because they always win. Seeing him complain and rant is now almost akin to watching your typical Yankee fan do it. Do I really want to see a spoiled sports fan complain about his team? Every time I hear one, I wish I had maligned Bolton striker El Hadji Diouf handy to spit some sense into them.

How about Diouf? He can't get back into the lineup at Bolton despite being their best scorer of the last month and a half. I'm convinced England is still ethnocentric and quite a bit racist. If Diouf were a white Englishman instead of Senagalese, he'd be considered one of England's finest young prospects.
Diouf has scored more than he's spit this year.

I should be researching for an interview I have tomorrow. But I'm not. It's hard to juggle work and procrastination.

Come to think of it, balancing life is hard and really not too much fun. But there's potential here for a video game I think. What if EA made a game where you went through life, trying to work, study, have fun, make friends, acquire wealth and status along with trying to get laid along the way? Hell I'd buy that shit.

Oh wait...

Well enough of this. I've got to head back down to South Florida and get those blue chip prospects. Cause it's almost time for the 2007 season and there's a Hurricane warning around Miami.

I wonder if Katie Higier can play football...

2 Comments:

Blogger David Arnott said...

Aldridge is slumming on TNT. He's entered Jim Gray territory.

7:32 PM  
Blogger Steve said...

Totally entertaining... I'm happy I'm not the only one who grows tired of the Sports Guy's rants (despite my general enjoyment of everything else he does). Which is why I am still waiting for him to make the full heel turn and make winning championships a New England birthright ala Yankee fans. Oh and to see someone writing about Diouf is refreshing... I fell in love with him in the opening game at WC2002, then when my beloved Liverpool signed him I was beyond thrilled... sure enough he flopped, and now the Reds high-priced Spanish talent struggle on.

3:53 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

<body>