Wednesday, February 22, 2006

The Worldwide Leader in Crap
By Zach

So yesterday was a bad, bad day for ESPN.com. They debuted a pair of features which, to put it kindly, blew. The first was their much-ballyhooed "NBA Trade Machine." With the NBA trade deadline fast approaching, the concept was to allow all those armchair GMs a chance to test out their most ridiculous trade proposals. Which seems like a fine idea, until you realize that anyone with half a brain could have found the same function on RealGM.com three years ago. I'm not sure whether ESPN licensed the technology, or just ripped them off. But either way, the only people this helps are idiots who think that ESPN.com is the end-all, be-all of sports websites (when clearly, if there is such a site, it's Sportszilla). And those people shouldn't be proposing NBA trades anyhow.

The other thing that bothered me was their "annual" World's Hottest Female Athlete poll. First of all, the last few years it was an NCAA Tournament-style bracket, with different catagories and seeding and everything. This year? Just 10 choices. And boy, what a crappy set of choices. The only two good looking women in the group were Tanith Belbin and Maria Sharapova. Natalie Gulbis is also pretty good looking, but they picked a hideous main picture of her to use, which was also the case for a few other women.

Leaving aside the matter of whether or not this sort of shameless objectification of women is ok (and it is), my beef with ESPN.com is: where are the hot women? Where's Sue Bird, or Paula Creamer (yes, she's legal)? No Serena Williams? I guess they were trying to highlight Winter Olympians, but someone aught to clue the editorial staff in: you can't tell if a woman is hot when she's snowboarding...something about 10 pounds of baggy clothing designed to keep her warm gets in the way.

Yes, Tuesday, February 21 wasn't the best day for ESPN.com. Of course, that's always the case when they give Satan his own column.

6 Comments:

Blogger Dexter said...

oh please, can i see some more pix of serena williams' 45 inch quads in spandex? please? and Paula Creamer? maybe she's legal, but she's an awkward teenager who probably had a hard time getting a prom date. what's wrong with you?

in terms of the poll, yeah the bracket was a better format. but Kristi Leskinen is hot and I have no complaints about Danica Patrick other than her gross overexposure. Natalie Gulbis isn't anything special. in past years they've refrained from repeating the same cast of female athletes - hence no sue bird, mia st. john and others.

yeah, they ripped off the trade machine and maybe the hottest athlete poll was weak. i'm not sure how this qualifies as a bad, bad day for ESPN.com, but i guess if it makes you feel good about your page, that's great.

4:30 PM  
Blogger WeJamEcono said...

I found the elegant woman from Monaco pretty hot. Like i'd be playing Baccarhat with her and James Bond snags her from me and proceeds to seduce her while my luck goes cold.

4:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

say what you will about snowboarders but bleiler is hot.

7:38 PM  
Blogger David Arnott said...

I've never thought Bleiler was hot. Given my choice (and it would have to be a pretty Caligula-esque day in hell when I, of all people, would be given this choice) I'd take Lindsey Jacobellis any day over her. I have to believe that Belbin is leading the voting primarily because ESPN.com has written more about her recently than any of the other "competitors". I mean, if you're gonna have a chauvinism party, you may as well go all out over the top and objectify as many women as possible.

4:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I only spent about 2 seconds messing with the ESPN trade gimmick, but am I crazy or is it nothing but a simple adding machine? Does the "trade machine" do anything other than compare salaries? You wanna impress me, break it down and give me some analysis!

10:04 AM  
Anonymous O'Dog said...

whats worse is their Daily Quickie guy ranting about the ice dancer winning as another "Miracle on Ice" and how shocking it is. Who cares? I hate ESPN.

http://www.toomuchsports.com

10:56 AM  

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