Monday, January 23, 2006

By Blogger

Kobe Bryant... ahem... that's Mister Bryant to us commonfolk... dropped 81 points on the Raptors Sunday night. I know, I know, it seems unbelievable, and all of you East Coasters were worn out from watching football and fast asleep when he decided that 26 in the first half simply wasn't impressive enough and proceeded to put up 27 in the third quarter and 28 in the fourth. He was 28-46 from the field, 7-13 from behind the arc, and led the Lakers to a 122-104 victory after being down by 18 points three minutes into the third quarter.

Did I mention that he ended up with 81 points? The most points in a single game since Wilt's 100? I think we need some perspective. The odds of Kobe scoring 81 points in a game at some point in his career were the same as the odds of:

* Keanu Reeves winning a Best Supporting Actor Oscar.

* Superman getting knocked down in the first round of a boxing match with Wolverine.

* George W. Bush shaking hands with both Hillary Clinton and Hilary Duff in the course of the same evening.

* Luke Walton dropping 40.

* Scientology leaders admitting their religion is a fraudulent moneymaking scheme.

* Doug Funnie marrying Patti Mayonaisse.

* Prince William announcing that he is gay.

* LeBron James announcing that he is actually two years older than his birth certificate indicates.

* You finding this video unamusing.

In other words, it was never entirely out of the realm of possibility, but I'd have never put money on it happening. If someone had told me yesterday that today Kobe would score 81 points, I would have raised my eyebrows and said, "Really? That's awesome." It's not too ridiculous on the face of it. Someone telling me that Ashley Olsen will be the pre-eminent actress of her generation, the Meryl Streep of the 2020s... that's ridiculous; it's something I can simply dismiss. The question now, I suppose, is whether or not Kobe's going to drop 90 on some poor saps. How about Friday, when Mickael Pietrus and Mike Dunleavy (gag) are slated to "guard" him?


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