Al Central Preview: Witty Comments at No Extra Charge!
By Zach
Cleveland Indians: If the Cavs can make the playoffs, why can’t we?
What I Like:
They’ve got the best lineup in the division (Hafner, Martinez, Sizemore, and Peralta could each be All-Stars this year)...starting pitching is better than you’d think (Sabathia and Lee each could have big years, Westbrook and Byrd are solid)...bullpen will be mediocre...nearly won the division last year, and they’ve got more room to improve than the White Sox.
What I Don’t Like:
Starting rotation isn’t particularly great...Bob Wickman is due to break down...they melted down late last season, costing themselves a playoff spot...Eric Wedge is a mediocre manager.
What Will Happen:
They’ll win 95 games or so and win the AL Central for the first time since 2001.
Chicago White Sox: Defending Champs...hey, where is everyone...damn Cubs.
What I Like:
Starting rotation is one of the best in baseball...Javy Vazquez should have a better season than he did last year...middle of the lineup should be solid...won the World Series last year...Jim Thome should stay healthy DHing...plenty of depth in bullpen...Ozzie Guillen is crazy.
What I Don’t Like:
Lineup sucks at the top...Podsednik might have become most overrated player in baseball...Konerko is due for a slump/injury...AJ Pierzynski is world-class jackass...their “philosophy” of baseball makes no sense...Jenks could easily collapse...they voluntarily gave up talent for Matt Thornton...Ozzie Guillen is crazy.
What Will Happen:
They won’t be repeating as AL Central Champs (or World Series Champs, for that matter), but they will snatch up the Wild Card.
Minnesota Twins: Welcome to the Nazi-Dome, please enjoy your stay.
What I Like:
Johan Santana is the best pitcher in baseball...Carlos Silva doesn’t walk anyone...Joe Nathan does a very nice job closing out games...Francisco Liriano has fantastic potential...Scott Baker could have a breakout season.
What I Don’t Like:
They can’t hit...Brad Radke and Kyle Lohse are mediocre...much of their young talent hasn’t panned out (Lew Ford, Michael Cuddyer, Justin Morneau...they’re starting Tony Batista and Luis Castillo...Torii Hunter is overrated.
What Will Happen:
They’ll win 80-85 games but never make much of a run at the Indians or White Sox.
Detroit Tigers: 100% Matt Millen Free!
What I Like:
Several of their young players look like they’ll become real nice players...starting pitching could be quite good...if healthy, they’re a pretty decent offensive team.
What I Don’t Like:
Too many key players are big injury risks (Carlos Guillen, Magglio Ordonez, Ivan Rodriguez)...they brought in Kenny Rogers to a staff of young pitchers...Jim Leyland is very old…Bonderman, Robertson, and Maroth have yet to live up to potential...they’re not starting Joel Zumaya.
What Will Happen:
If everyone stays healthy, is an above .500 team and possibly could take third place away from the Twins. Then again, the last time Magglio Ordonez was healthy, I was in high school. So yeah, they’ll win 75 or so and finish fourth. At least they’re not the...
Kansas City Royals: What else is there to do in KC?
What I Like:
David DeJesus’s name...the fountains in the outfield...the fact that they’re going back to their old jerseys...the fact that the right side of their infield is Grudzielanek and Mientkiewicz (24 combined letters, most likely a new record).
What I Don’t Like:
The fact that they drove Zack Grienke away from baseball...their depth chart only lists four starting pitchers (and their ace is Scott Elarton)...they have the least talented team in the majors by far...they’re not bringing back the powder-blue jerseys.
What Will Happen:
Another horrific season, another batch of prospects who don’t pan out, and Zack Grienke begins work on the Great American Novel.
What I Like:
They’ve got the best lineup in the division (Hafner, Martinez, Sizemore, and Peralta could each be All-Stars this year)...starting pitching is better than you’d think (Sabathia and Lee each could have big years, Westbrook and Byrd are solid)...bullpen will be mediocre...nearly won the division last year, and they’ve got more room to improve than the White Sox.
What I Don’t Like:
Starting rotation isn’t particularly great...Bob Wickman is due to break down...they melted down late last season, costing themselves a playoff spot...Eric Wedge is a mediocre manager.
What Will Happen:
They’ll win 95 games or so and win the AL Central for the first time since 2001.
Chicago White Sox: Defending Champs...hey, where is everyone...damn Cubs.
What I Like:
Starting rotation is one of the best in baseball...Javy Vazquez should have a better season than he did last year...middle of the lineup should be solid...won the World Series last year...Jim Thome should stay healthy DHing...plenty of depth in bullpen...Ozzie Guillen is crazy.
What I Don’t Like:
Lineup sucks at the top...Podsednik might have become most overrated player in baseball...Konerko is due for a slump/injury...AJ Pierzynski is world-class jackass...their “philosophy” of baseball makes no sense...Jenks could easily collapse...they voluntarily gave up talent for Matt Thornton...Ozzie Guillen is crazy.
What Will Happen:
They won’t be repeating as AL Central Champs (or World Series Champs, for that matter), but they will snatch up the Wild Card.
Minnesota Twins: Welcome to the Nazi-Dome, please enjoy your stay.
What I Like:
Johan Santana is the best pitcher in baseball...Carlos Silva doesn’t walk anyone...Joe Nathan does a very nice job closing out games...Francisco Liriano has fantastic potential...Scott Baker could have a breakout season.
What I Don’t Like:
They can’t hit...Brad Radke and Kyle Lohse are mediocre...much of their young talent hasn’t panned out (Lew Ford, Michael Cuddyer, Justin Morneau...they’re starting Tony Batista and Luis Castillo...Torii Hunter is overrated.
What Will Happen:
They’ll win 80-85 games but never make much of a run at the Indians or White Sox.
Detroit Tigers: 100% Matt Millen Free!
What I Like:
Several of their young players look like they’ll become real nice players...starting pitching could be quite good...if healthy, they’re a pretty decent offensive team.
What I Don’t Like:
Too many key players are big injury risks (Carlos Guillen, Magglio Ordonez, Ivan Rodriguez)...they brought in Kenny Rogers to a staff of young pitchers...Jim Leyland is very old…Bonderman, Robertson, and Maroth have yet to live up to potential...they’re not starting Joel Zumaya.
What Will Happen:
If everyone stays healthy, is an above .500 team and possibly could take third place away from the Twins. Then again, the last time Magglio Ordonez was healthy, I was in high school. So yeah, they’ll win 75 or so and finish fourth. At least they’re not the...
Kansas City Royals: What else is there to do in KC?
What I Like:
David DeJesus’s name...the fountains in the outfield...the fact that they’re going back to their old jerseys...the fact that the right side of their infield is Grudzielanek and Mientkiewicz (24 combined letters, most likely a new record).
What I Don’t Like:
The fact that they drove Zack Grienke away from baseball...their depth chart only lists four starting pitchers (and their ace is Scott Elarton)...they have the least talented team in the majors by far...they’re not bringing back the powder-blue jerseys.
What Will Happen:
Another horrific season, another batch of prospects who don’t pan out, and Zack Grienke begins work on the Great American Novel.
posted by Zach at 2:37 PM
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