Tuesday, March 28, 2006

The Neo-Fascist League
By Zach

See, I could have called this post the "No-Fun League," but that's been run into the ground already. Today brought the disturbing news that the NFL's competition committee wants to crack down (yet again) on touchdown celebrations. Apparently, they're taunting, and god knows we can't have that. These highly-paid grownups would just break down and cry if the guy who just ripped them for a 50-yard TD run had a little fun at their expense.

Touchdown celebrations have always been one of the best parts of football, and we're in the middle of a Golden Age: with celebration experts like Chad Johnson, Steve Smith, and even Terrell Owens making frequent trips to the end zone, I'm guaranteed of at least one or two noteworthy celebrations per episode of NFL Primetime.

Two thoughts on this: first, are there fans out there who don't like TD celebrations to be as creative and clever as they are now? If there are, are they under the age of 50? I'd much rather see Chad Johnson putt the ball with a pylon then see Marivn Harrison hand it back to the official and then go eat a bowl of plain oatmeal. Again, this shows just how out of touch the league is not just with its fans, but with its players. I don't hear anyone on the opposing team complaining when one of these guys does their thing in the end zone: they understand how hard it is to score a TD, and heck, you know they're going nuts if they ever score one of their own (or intercept a pass, or even make a tackle...but I digress).

The second thought is, NFL players toil in much more anonymity than baseball or basketball players. You rarely see their faces: outside of a handful of quarterbacks and other players who endorse products, how many football players would you recognize if they weren't wearing their uniforms? Advertising dollars are limited for most football players, and I don't begrudge them trying to make a name for themselves. Better they do it in the endzone, or by dressing up as a different character each week, then by hiring strippers for a cruise or killing their wife in a drive-by shooting.

But Tags and the rest of the higher-ups will probably spend more energy figuring out how to reign in their wild (black) athletes instead of, say, getting competant officials in the Super Bowl or actually enforcing the horse collar rule. Oh well, such is life in the Neo-Fascist League.


Blogger David Arnott said...

Don't forget, the Lambeau Leap was already scheduled for the chopping block this year, too. What next? No pre-game introductions? Are they going to start re-enforcing the "no drowning out a quarterback's signals with crowd noise" rule? Geez.

2:46 PM  
Blogger David Arnott said...

My bad. Apparently, the Leap was spared.

6:59 PM  

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